Muse

My Muse,

You’ve always been a friend. Always.

For as long as I have known how to put pen to paper, you have been my comfort and my expression.

You have touched my awareness, helped me to notice the seemingly insignificant, and have given me words to express the beauty therein.

You have been in the waters that inspire my soul, in the birdsong that delights my heart, in the warm sand that envelops my feet, in the clouds that float by as I gaze at the sky, in the winds that whisper and roar through the forest canopy.

And you were my friend even when I was not a friend to myself.

When I all but abandoned my desire to write, you hung about — nudging me, whispering to me, and even letting me be.

I hope to become reacquainted with having you around. I have missed our partnership. Our friendship. Our voice.

© Aja Hart, 4.6.2020

Lie to Me…Gaslight Me…

I’ve learned something about myself as I’ve sojourned four years into the decade of forty:

I am forgiving to a fault…

…unless you lie to me.

Once you decide your deception is undetectable by my deeply perceptive nature and you go for it, it’s only a matter of time till I discern it; when I do, I guarantee the nature of our friendship changes forever.

Because not only did you lie to me, but you believed me to be stupid enough — despite all evidence to the contrary — not to perceive the non-verbals.

What a mistake, to betray someone who is so forgiving.

I don’t like that. I won’t stand for it.

Ever.

©Aja-lexa Lopez, 2013.7.22

Instant Miscommunication

Would you agree that instant communication has resulted in more misunderstanding than real communication?

No? Well, hear me out here.

A conversation through email or text messaging is potentially not a private one: replies with BCCs and “forwards” are just one click away. These “conversations,” in the absence of face-to-face dialogue are fertile soil for conflict. It is for this very reason that I stopped emailing my parents and sisters years ago.

I have learned that no matter how well-intended the message, it can and (oftentimes will) be miscommunicated or misunderstood, even among friends. True communication is two-way. Email and text messaging, while instant in transmission, do not allow for the basic need for instant feedback in order to move forward.

How do I know if something I have said to someone has come across in a way I have not intended? How do I know whether I am not expressing myself in a way that the other person will catch my meaning? I watch the expression on their faces or for other cues.

How do I know whether my text message to you struck a negative chord with you because, without the benefit of voice inflection to clarify the message, it sounded harsh? How do I know whether my text message has wounded you?

Email and text messaging complicate matters in that respect. This instant communication has resulted in instant hurt that sometimes never finds its resolution.

So the instant communication we enjoy for the convenience is far less convenient that we realize. Conflicts that start with a (hopefully) well-intended sentiment sometimes backfire; if we are determined to get to the bottom of it, we spend more time than would have been necessary in the first place trying to clear the air. What is convenient about that?

Instant communication certainly fulfills a need for keeping in touch. But with regard to bringing up issues? Not so much.

© Alexa Lopez, 2009